chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize