Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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