Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
