i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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