we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
