My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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