I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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