I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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