You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
