Don't you send me to vm
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
