If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just gift wrapped bread.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
