I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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