If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
zippers are such a cool invention
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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