I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
