OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
