I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
