ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
