Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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