you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
