Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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