a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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