Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
