Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
