Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
