Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
