Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
