Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
