We're facebook friends in real life
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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