first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
