I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
