you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
