this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
