I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
