Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The air was thick with penises
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
