Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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