Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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