ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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