she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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