did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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