Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
