just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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