I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
