What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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