u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
