I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
