I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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