Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
