come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
