Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
