Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
