Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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