I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
