Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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