Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
