hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
