Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
