): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
