i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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