So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
