Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
